your room smells of hookers.
And success
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
