You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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