how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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