You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
