I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
