did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
