did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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