you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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