Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize