I heard we made out
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize