I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
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