I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
