Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize