If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
