Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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