smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
