What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
