Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
