well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she peed on how many people?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
