Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
