So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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