That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Can Purell be used as lube?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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