I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
