I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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