What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and she was petting her beer can
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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