That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
