Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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