how can u be prego again
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
