FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
