so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
