Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
