Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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