chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
