jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
