He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Of course I have a pirate flag
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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