Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
