Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
