Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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