Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
