yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
