You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Farmville is her only friend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
