So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
