My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
