we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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