Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YAS. BRING CRAB.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
