WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
