Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
