I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
