I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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