Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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