don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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