I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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