I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
