I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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