So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
