I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
