Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
