I am puke
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
