Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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