Im at strip club and am horny
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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