If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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