I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
