Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
